I was 14 years old when I started writing in notebooks that now are nowhere to be found.
At that time, I was removed from my class because of an experiment that started that year on my middle school. New class, new friends. I didn’t have any of my old friends and that totally “killed” me. I remember waking up, every day, and wishing I could never go to school.
You see, I had a lot of difficulties making new friends. Usually, they came to me, introducing themselves and later we would be inseparable. However, in that class, it was way too difficult. They hated me. I was considered “the ugly-fat-nerd” who didn’t know to do anything special except of learning and eating too much.
That was the time when I started writing down how I felt. I felt unimportant, a waste of space. I lost my self confidence. I was always crying, until the power of writing healed me.
I began writing about self love and self esteem. It was a way to persuade myself that I was as important as those who made me feel bad and weak and small, all at the same time.
At the age of 15, when I had gained my self confidence, I began writing little love stories. Oh, how much I loved that. I could write over and over without being tired about cute couples whom I personally knew them. I just loved making up new, magical scenes.
Then, I was in high school. I had lost my interest in writing but now I understand that I felt the need of it. It was after hearing One Directions’ song “More than this” when I immediately started writing my first novel. But I finished that a year later, changing the plot and telling a whole new story, almost a biographical one.
Since then, I have always been writing, though shortly, little novels inspired by different things. And here I am, having my own blog, and feeling complete. Because that’s what writing does to me. It completes me. It fulfills with joy even my darkest places of my soul. It makes me believe that I can do magic, that I can create a whole new world (a perfect one, without assassinations, rapes, wars, child’s marriages and so on), and make it immortal through my written words.
My friend, once, sent me that message. And in that moment, I knew what my superpower was. I could express myself with an incredible easiness through writing. Anger, love, confusion, happiness, sadness, excitement, frustration and even embarrasment through my pen.
Peace and love, friends 😉
My words sound better coming from my hands than from my mouth 🙂